dragonsmeet

The question becomes ‘where did it all start?’

As a child I always felt like ‘the odd one out’, the ‘square peg in a round hole’ for a myriad of reasons. Some people found this ‘unusual-ness’ attractive, but most found it irksome. On many occassions I got blamed for what others had done or because I was an easy scape-goat and as a loner there was seldom anyone to stick up for me.

Circumstances in my teenage years did little to help me develop a sense of belonging to my peer group. Trying to balance the personal need for security and conformity with an aptitude for unusual skills and interest in weird topics was a difficult juggling act to pull off. It was almost inevitable that something would have to ‘give way’ at some point. In my mid-20s I took up yoga and qualified as a yoga teacher in 1979. This introduced me to the philosophy of the Himalayas. This also brought my first encounter with Goddess energies through the experience of ‘shakipat’, or descent of grace. This came through links to Siddha Yoga and working as a co-leader of a meditation centre. Life immediately started to change, I started to change.

Fellow students on my yoga teachers’ course introduced me to crystals, colour and astrology. Astrology really caught my interest and I took my studies further to qualify as a teacher with a local group. Study of astrology and subsequently the tarot, introduced me to the Kabbalah, the Hebrew esoteric tradition. The group was quite large with many gifted clairvoyants, mediums and pathworkers. The group leaders planned a collective pathworking (ritual) to link to the energy of the Egyptian goddess Maat *. As a very junior member I had been given a small role. It took me a while to settle myself to doing this small part. I was uneasy as I was out of my comfort zone as a yoga teacher and meditator. In the end I took part for the sake of the group. As far as I was concerned I did ‘my bit’ and not being (at that time) particularly clairvoyant, I hadn’t a clue how things had gone.

The following weekend the group has a stand at a local exhibition and I dutifully attended to do astrology charts. The afternoon before the opening was spent setting the stand up and I noticed there was dissention within the group. I didn’t know why, there was gossip about irregularities with funds, but something else had upset some of the key personnel.

That night as I started to fall asleep, the room got very cold. The rest of the family were fast asleep, but the air was getting colder and colder. Then I saw her – with my physical eyes. Standing at the foot of the bed was Maat! She was not blindfold, she was exceptionally beautiful and stood there in all her finery.

She said to me ‘You know something is not as it should be within the group’.

‘Yes’, I said.

‘Here’, she said, ‘take my sword and use it to cut away what you know needs to be removed.’

I replied that, ‘I can’t as I don’t have the detachment to to use the sword’. (For all I knew there could be lots of other factors that I had no knowledge of, which made it unclear of what action was really needed.)

She smiled.

Then she said ‘The sword is here for you to use when it is needed.’ And then she vanished.

The next day I eventually told someone in the group what had happened. They then told the people in charge. They were furious! ‘How come she came to you?’, ‘She should have come to us!’, ‘You must have done something to make her come to you!’ etc etc….

Oh Boy!

I left the group a few weeks later.

The sword? Do I have it when I need it? Yes.

Have I used it? Yes.

I have used it twice in 30 years. Once to protect a student about 28 years ago and once to protect myself in 2007.

* Maat is the Egyptian Goddess of harmony, justice, and truth represented as a young woman. She signifies the underlying equilibrium of the universe, the passing of the seasons, the movement of the planets and stars, being fair in any dealings with others, honesty and truth.